For this third and final post in my chastity series, I want to give you all some practical tips. In contrast to the general principles from my alchemy post, these are all things you can do right now to make it easier for you to be chaste:
Cold showers might seem scary at first, but when you get used to them they'll become one of the best parts of your day. It's true that warm showers are comfortable in the same way that a blanket or a hot bath is comfortable, but that kind of comfort lends itself to unchastity. Cold showers do the opposite: at first they make you uncomfortable, but that discomfort becomes a visceral sense of embodiment and physicality. In other words, cold showers have made me feel more physically there, figuratively letting "sulfur" express itself.
After you finish your cold shower (and it doesn't need to be long), you'll feel refreshed, alert, and alive. There are some Redditors on r/NoFap who say that cold showers increase testosterone levels, which both mimics some parts of sexual release and leaves you feeling better and more confident. I'm not sure if that's scientifically true, but I've definitely noticed those effects.
Exercise has pretty much the same role as cold showers in fighting the temptation to be unchaste: it physically embodies you and externalizes the "sulfur" that would otherwise get out through bad behaviors. As for the scientific question, I think it's pretty much a given that exercise causes good hormones to be released. So exercise is also one of the best things you can do to be chaste since it simulates the good parts of sexual release while leaving out the inappropriate parts.
When I exercise, I've felt more at peace (more "silvery,") since the sulfur bursting out within me had already "done its thing." I feel less anxiety and have fewer worries. Moreover, it lets me feel more energized, more awake, and more confident in myself.
I've been doing mindfulness meditation for about a year and a half now, and it can be a wonderful thing to experience. If you just sit and let your attention rest on your breathing, eventually you'll get to the point where any agitated thoughts and feelings calm down. You'll feel like everything is "permeable," as though "airy passages [were] built between all opposed things, light smooth streets [leading] from one pole to the other" (the quote is from Jung's Red Book). More simply, you'll feel at peace--both "brighter" and more calm.
As far as chastity goes, mindfulness meditation trains you so you can recognize impulses to unchastity a mile off. You "step back" enough from your feelings and thoughts to see them clearly, and you can say to an upcoming temptation "I see what you are, and I'm not falling for your tricks."
Kundalini Yoga is probably the most powerful tool on this list. If you picked a few meditations to do every day--like the Sat Kriya and the Addiction Meditation, for example--you could perhaps get entirely over a porn addiction in a matter of months or even weeks. Kundalini Yoga teacher Felice Austen, whose blog I link to in the sidebar to the right, has seen this happen.
For your benefit, here are some video instructions on helpful Kundalini meditations from her YouTube channel:
First, the Sat Kriya, which I personally find the most powerful (it's the one I alluded to in the first post in this series):
Second, the Arcline Meditation, which is designed to--among other things--reduce your susceptibility to anxiety and temptation:
And finally, the Addiction Meditation, which I'm told can work wonders:
There are a few mental tricks or "mind hacks" you can do to overcome urges and resist the temptation to unchastity.
First, urinate. If you're at the end of your rope, urinating can cause a release that can simulate the experience of sexual release just enough to get you to "hang on." Second, simply imagine sexual release. Oftentimes simply an imagined orgasm can give you enough mental comfort to lessen the urge, or even get rid of it altogether.
Here are some other YouTube videos, this time from the channel "Sacred Sexuality Project," on this topic. Note that he can be a bit candid sometimes, but know that he's a really good guy:
Prayer is a subtle but crucial tool in your arsenal against temptation. In the midst of being tempted toward unchastity, try praying to God to ask Him lessen your compulsive feelings. Or even better, try consecrating those feelings to Him, effectively saying "I give this energy to Thee to do with as Thou see fit."
The anonymously written medieval book The Cloud of Unknowing describes another way prayer can help someone who struggles with temptation:
"If it happens that particular sins which you have committed are always inserting themselves in your awareness between you and your God, or any new thought or impulse concerning any other sin is, you are bravely to step above it with a fervent impulse of love and tread it down under your feet. And try to cover them with a thick cloud of forgetting, as though they had never been committed by you or any other man. And if such thoughts often arise, put them down often; in short, as often as they arise, as often put them down."
This works for both new temptations and temptations to despair over past failures. And that brings up a crucial point: always try to fight against temptation as though you're doing it for the first time, "forgetting" any previous failures or triumphs. If you don't do this and instead act from those failures and successes, you'll just go onto a roller-coaster or see-saw between righteousness and sin. Act from God; don't try to reach God as though you were separate from Him.
Well, that's that for my chastity series. I hope I've been able to help people out there; I have an inkling that I have, since these posts in particular have gotten more views in a shorter time than most other posts. Just know that you are loved and that you are worthwhile, whatever your struggles and whatever your past. Sin and subsequent repentance are refining fires, and often you'll emerge better off than you were before the sin.
Thanks for reading!